41

I tried to stay busy, I tried not to think about it but my birthday came anyway.  40 was hard for me 30 wasn't bad but 40 really freaked me.  I think a lot of it was that I keep thinking about little man and how old I will be when he reaches a certain age.  For example when he's 10 I'll be reaching 50.  Ouch it hurts just to type that. 
I grew up with younger parents my mom and dad were both barely in their 20's when I was born.  Jynx actually is younger than her mom was when she was born so I think she is handling it all a lot better.  When Jynx and I first got married we talked about having kids and Jynx said she wanted to have her first by the age of 30.  I remember thinking how old that was and wanted to have children sooner.  I was 39 when Jame was born but it did not bother me until my 40th birthday that I started to freak out about my age.  A lot of my friends have children in high school and that are 16 years old.
I've talked with several people who had kids later and they are handling it just fine and Jynx's mom and dad seemed to have handled it just fine as well.  I've also consoled myself by thinking that god won't give us anything we can't handle.  I usually follow up that saying by saying I just wish he didn't trust me as much.  I know there is a reason that god has chosen this path for us and although we may not understand it there is a reason.